Archive for November, 2007

In the back seat…

Monday, November 12th, 2007

Lenny was anxious to get into his car, start it up and get onto the autobahn so that the heat could kick in and warm him up. As he started up his car he slid in the U2 18 Singles CD that he was craving to hear, whishing that it had Bullet the Blue Sky as part of it’s track listing and vowing to go onto the ‘Net that night and order The Joshua Tree, which is the album that actually contains that song.

Bono began singing in his slow-and-low, smooth voice:

The heart is a bloom,
Shoots up through the stony ground ,
There’s no room,
No space to rent in this town…

Lenny put his car into first gear, checked to make sure that nobody was in front of his car or walking around, nearby, and, seeing it was all clear, pulled out of his driveway, cranking his wheel hard-right so that he could get out of his cramped parking place in one move, instead of pulling an Austin Powers special–back-n-forth, ad infinitum.

Damn, it’s dark, thought Lenny, pulling around the hedges and bushes that surround his and his neighbor’s houses, and thankful that he was fast approaching the streetlamps that would serve to illuminate his path to freedom: the autobahn.

The autobahn is arguably Hitler’s greatest positive contribution to Germany. Built to allow swift and efficient transportation between Germany’s great cities, it’s 130 KPH (80 MPH) nominal cruising speed and smooth, softly curving ride is the envy of the world. Lenny thought back to his time spent in the States and pitied those that were stuck at 55, 65, or 75 MPH and couldn’t wait to get onto the “no speed limit” portion of the autobahn that he lived right off of. On stretches of the highway like that, Lenny happily let his car ride at 100-110 MPH and just let the music soothe him in to a comfortable warmness.

Taking the left out of his village and onto the local road, Lenny accelerated smoothly and got into the turning lane that was the entrance to the autobahn. Letting a little red car pass, Lenny pushed his car to a gentle start and picked up speed rapidly, reaching the aforementioned cruising speed of 80 MPH.

As he was preparing to merge, Lenny looked into this driver’s side mirror and then glanced at his rear-view mirror and noted the beads of dew being pulled over the back of his rear window, as if the air were brushing his car’s sleek black hair back.

Merging and coming up on one of the few lamp posts posted on the autobahn, Lenny’s attention was grabbed by a motion in the back of car. Someone had sat up in his rear seat.

“What the f–!,” Lenny practically shouted, his voice raising a few octaves as he prepared to slam on the brakes, his heart racing.

He took a half second to consider what to do:
1. Slam on the brakes, jump the hell out of the car, and run like hell
2. Swerve like hell, hoping to disarm the individual in the back and then get out and run like hell
3. Hope that it’s not some serial killer and find out what this person wants.

Using what little reason that was left in his mind, Lenny looked into the mirror again and only saw the head rest to the passenger seat that was directly behind him. “Christ!” he exclaimed, reaching his hand behind his seat and only feeling the jacket that he’d left there the night before.

Stupid shadows, he thought, then added, stupid tinted windows. In his mind, Lenny reconstructed the events that nearly led to what could have been a pretty damn silly accident report and a trip to the psych ward…

The dew was moving across the back window, catching my attention. At the same time, the lamp that I’d just passed cast a shadow on the inside of the car, creating the illusion of movement, simultaneously spotting the headrest out of the corner of my eye, and my mind, processing all of this at once, interpreted it as “there’s someone in the backseat that sat up suddenly”.

Inwardly, Lenny wished that he wasn’t always alone, that way, he was certain, someone else would be with him and he’d not have to feel so paranoid about weird things like that and having to explain away silly happenings like tonight. What’s so hard about finding a girlfriend, he thought, you talk to a girl, if she likes you, you ask her out, you go out, and then BAM! You’re an item, right?

He knew that the interaction had to be something like that. He knew of at least two other people that recently acquired girlfriends, and it wasn’t like they’d been single for half as long as he had. Unfortunately, his own experiences in this matter tended to fall a little short of that interaction.

Oh well, maybe I’ll meet someone while I’m shopping. he consoled himself, One can never tell what the future will bring.

Shrugging, Lenny shook the fear out of his system that the shadows had caused and continued on his little Christmas-goodie shopping excursion…

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

A Mini-Mystery (Based on actual events)

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

Yesterday, I had an ineresting moment that inspired the following story… I hope you enjoy.

James, a red-headed and heavily-freckled young man, aged 12, was busy loading his empty glass and plastic bottles into plastic bags so that he could haul them off to the recycling center to cash-in on the refunds they commanded. 

“I’m going to make some mad loot!” he exclaimed to no one in particular, grinning as he filled two plastic bags to capacity. “Huh, I need more bags,” he continued, as he realized that he had 8-10 more bottles than could fit in the bags. He carefully lined them up in a nice little triangular pattern on the kitchen counter, reminiscent of then way that bowling pins are setup for a game. 

Not finding any plastic bags, he decided to fix himself some lunch and wait for his parents to call home and ask them to grabs some more trash bags from the store on their way home.  

Digging around in the pantry, James spotted some chicken noodle soup and thought that it would make a great snack on such a cold, wintry afternoon. Grabbing the soup can, James made his way to the kitchen, grabbed the can-opener from a drawer, and cleared a spot close to the sink by moving the plastic bottle wedge a little toward the stove. Next he grabbed a shiny pot and proceeded to open the can of soup and empty the contents into the pot along with a can of water, per the directions on the label. 

“Time for some chow,” James thought as he fired up the stove and put the pot of soup on top to boil. James took the bags of plastic and glass bottles from the kitchen and set them by the front door to the house, thinking he’d save a few moments and avoid his mother’s complaining about him leaving messes everywhere by keeping the floor uncluttered. 

A few minutes later, James was startled by some sounds coming from the kitchen: POP! POP-POP! POP! 

His heart racing, James swiftly and silently made his way to the kitchen door and peeked inside the kitchen. Nobody was there. He knew he was alone in the house and they don’t have any pets. His soup looked about ready to eat, since steam was rising slowly from the soup. 

“What was that?” he wondered aloud, making his way into the kitchen, scratching his head. “Weird,” he commented, while humming the theme to The Twilight Zone. 

James grabbed his soup off the burner, poured it into a soup bowl, and took his soup to the living room so that he could watch some cartoons while he had his snack. Returning to the kitchen, he placed the pot into the sink, turned off the burner, and made his way back to the living room. 

Sitting on the couch with the soup on a tray in front of him, James started to sip his soup when he heard the same sounds as before. POP! POP-POP! POP! “What the –!” he began, getting up fast enough to spill a little soup on his sweatshirt in the process. 

He looked in the kitchen. Again, nothing. Everything was just as it had been when he left there. “Creepy,” he proclaimed, as the doorbell rang, startling James and sending a few shivers up his back and down his arms. 

Rubbing his arms to get rid of the shivers and warm-up a little, James answered the door. “Whassup, dude!?” he exclaimed, opening the door to his best friend, Jake. “You are not going to believe this, man,” James started, eyes wide and looking shiftily, left-to-right, “but I think we have ghosts.” 

“What makes you say that, James?” Jake asked, as his right eyebrow came up and he tilted his head a little to the left. Jake loved mysteries and puzzles, so James’ statement piqued his interest, naturally. 

“Check it out, I was by the front door and I heard these popping sounds in the kitchen. When I went to see what it was, they’d stopped. Then, when I was in the living room, I heard them, again, and when I went to look, again, nothing. Weird, huh?” James was breathing a little fast and his eyes had a desperate look to them. 

Jake took a look at James, scrutinizing his scruffy hairdo, his casual attire, and fur-lined bunny slippers. “Nice slippers, Jeanie,” Jake said jokingly as he made his way past James and toward the kitchen. He popped his head in there, looked around, then turned around to face James again and said, “Look, man, you don’t have ghosts, spooks, or poltergeists. You were paid a visit by my friend Joe-Louis, though.” 

What is going on??? 

Answer:
James placed the empty plastic bottles closer to the stove, and when he turned the stove on, the radiant heat from the burner warmed the air in the bottles and caused the air in them to expand, making them POP! By the time he’d arrived in the kitchen, they’d reached a stable temperature and stopped expanding. The opposite happened after he left the kitchen to eat his soup. Jake was able to determine that James had just eaten soup, and most likely heated it up on the stove, because James had a nice amount spilled on his sweatshirt. Finally, Jake was referring to the expansion of gases, as determined by Joseph-Loius Gay-Loussac. 

This story was inspired by a similar incident, where I had heated up some soup and had inadvertantly left n empty bottle near the stove. I knew what had happened as soon as the POP! happened and I immediately had a flashback to my childhood days of reading books about Encyclopedia Brown. Coincidentally, Encyclopedia Brown’s real name was “Leroy”.  :)

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »